I Will Never Be Sorry
by TrimbyJean
Summary: Rachel apologizes to Puck, but he doesn't think she has anything to be sorry for. Might be a chapter story later.


Summary: Rachel apologizes to Puck, but he doesn't think she has anything to be sorry for.

Inspiration: I don't know… I was watching the season two episode where they make out again (DIED AND WENT TO HEAVEN, I DID!) and when Puck left her because he couldn't hurt Finn, I turned bipolar (Aww… you're such a loyal friend. Now get your hot Jewish ass back there and reinstate Puckleberry goddammit!). I imagine poor Rachel was confused, hurt, impressed (with Puck's grown up behavior) and probably feeling a little guilty. So, I wondered what happened afterward, but aside from telling Finn, it was like, never brought up again. That shit ain't kosher. So, I wrote it. Everything's canon until this exact moment, and from there… well, you'll see…

*Just enjoy =)

Rating: M, because Puck swearing is like breathing air.

DISCLAIMED

"I'm sorry."

Puck looked up from his chair in the choir room, his guitar in his hands. He was really just messing around with it, retuning it while he waited for the rest of the club to show. Somehow, he'd gotten there early, and the room's only other occupant was Berry. Which made for a very awkward time.

"For what?" He asked, looking back down at his guitar. She was sitting a row in front of him, two chairs over, and was staring at her hands in her lap.

"For yesterday. For using you to get back at Finn. I shouldn't have done that, Noah." She sighed and her fingers twisted into knots. "I abused our tenuous friendship, and it was wrong. So, I'm sorry."

"Just forget about it, Rach." He set the instrument to the side and leaned forward.

"I can't, Noah." The words were loud in the almost empty room, even though she spoke really quietly. It must really be bugging the shit out of her, he guessed, because she was only ever this quiet when she was really upset. "I keep thinking about how upset I was, and there you were. We've become friends, and I just wanted some comfort, but I think a small part of me was hoping to make Finn feel as badly as I felt. I used you, and it bothers me. You were only trying to make me feel better."

"Bullshit." He leaned back then, legs splayed in front of him in their usual way, arms crossed over his chest. "I was tryin' to cash in on Finn's loss. God, Berry, you may be my friend, but you don't know me at all."

"Noah-"

"I didn't make out with you because you needed to be comforted or some girly shit like that. Shit, Rach, that's just fucked up. If a chick needs cheering up, you don't try to suck her face off."

"All I'm trying to say, Noah, is that I'm sorry that I risked your recently rebuilt friendship with Finn, all for my personal revenge." She was staring straight ahead now, her back stiff and the tone of her voice telling him that she didn't want to talk about it anymore, and that he should take her apology and be thankful.

Fuck it. He was throwing all in on this one, and tyin' this shit down once and for all. "Will you stop sayin' you're fuckin' sorry, Rachel?" He bit out angrily. She gasped at the use of her full first name, which he never did, and whipped around to stare at him. He leaned forward, getting as close as possible. "I kissed you because I fuckin' wanted to. Because I've been dyin' to ever since the bleachers sophomore year. Every time I look at you, I remember makin' out in your room, and I wanna do it again." He scoffed. "I thought you got it. Shit, you're smart, babe." He smirked. "You shook my hand when I handed Schue the money for the handicapped bus. Y'know how proud that made me feel? I did that fuckin' train wreck of a video for you, because you asked and listened to my shit. And 'One_'_? Babe, that's one of the greatest Glee moments ever." He looked her square in the eye, and reached out to grab one of her hands. "I was ready to go apeshit when you got egged. You visited me in juvie. We've talked. Hell, we're almost family." She cringed at the mention of Beth and Shelby, and he did, too (inwardly), but pushed on. "I kissed you because I wanted to. I stopped because it isn't fair to you, me admitting all that shit when you still want fuckin' Finn. But I did anyway, because you just couldn't keep your fuckin' adorable mouth shut when you have _nothing to be sorry for_." He dropped her hand and sat back in his seat, eyes looking everywhere but her. It was silent for a few minutes, and he was ready to just cut and run, when she spoke up.

"It isn't fair to you, either." She looked up at him and smiled sadly. "To use you to hurt Finn, because I didn't want it to be use. I wanted to kiss you because I've missed it, too, and I don't know what to do about it." She bit her bottom lip and looked ready to cry, and Noah sighed.

"C'mere." He beckoned her over to him and she came. He sat her on his leg sideways, much like she had sat in the bathroom that day last year, when he'd made a decision. Now, he had to make another one.

"Now what?" He asked, not really expecting her to answer.

"I love Finn, Noah." She put a hand on his chest and looked at him. "But I think I'm in love with you. I think I built Finn up in my head for so long, and last year when we dated, it gave me a chance to see what it could be like, if I didn't have to change, if a boy liked me for who I was, and did things because he wanted to, not because he felt like he had to. Like when you chose me over football." She smiled at him. "I was scared to let go of that fantasy I built up, because if the real thing turned out to be a lie, or it ended badly, I wouldn't have anything to fall back on. But now, I want it. All of it, Noah. I'm still a little scared, but I don't need the fantasy anymore. All I need is you."

He covered the hand she had against his chest with his own and looked up at her, sincerity and raw honesty in his eyes. He only got once chance to fuckin' say this, and he'd make sure she knew he wasn't lying. "I will never hurt you, Rachel. You don't need to change a fuckin' thing for me. You're fuckin' perfect this way, and I love you."

She leaned down and kissed him softly, and he kissed her back, her lips still as soft as he remembered, and still tasting like chapstick. They sat like that, oblivious of everything, until a familiar voice broke them apart.

"What the Hell!"


End file.
